Disclaimer: I wrote this poem during a very dark period in my life and just for the record, my happiness did return. I dedicate this poem to my legend of a brother, Karl, who recently passed away unexpectedly.
I sit and watch the people around me,
They laugh and joke and giggle with glee.
I sometimes wonder what is going on inside,
Am I the only one with something to hide?
I play along in the game of life,
Telling the kids stories and comforting my wife.
But deep down inside I find it hard to believe,
How people manage to cope with their pain and their grief.
I have come to an age when I have seen too much bad,
Heart-breaking things that make me so sad.
To lose those you love is the worse thing of all,
That silent pain that seems beyond cruel.
I want to be free and play like I should,
To see beautiful things, if only I could.
I know it's still there and I should really move on,
But how do you do that when all good things are gone.
Am I the only one who feels like I do?
What do you do when it happens to you?
Please teach me because I just don't understand,
Knowing I will never see you or feel the touch of your hand.
What did I do to deserve so much pain?
How do I manage to be happy again?
For now I'll pretend and just do the right things,
Just wait and see what else this life brings.
They say that in time all bad things will fade,
You will get over the mistakes that you made.
But my time here is short, I don't have much left,
I want to be happy again before I reach death.