Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Fifteen Minutes of Fame--Kurt Chambers

We've all heard Andy Warhol's expression, 'In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes'. Well, I'm hoping that isn't true or I've already had my time ...lol... It all started with a bad day at work ... *wavy lines*

I was working in London doing some window repairs. It was cold, I was tired, and I hate London at the best of times. I had a minor argument with a recently sharpened chistle and took a chunk out of one of my fingers. "That's it!" I exclaimed to my mate, Mick. I probably swore a little *cough* a lot ...lol... I dropped my tools and went to my van parked out front to make a cup of tea. I turned on the radio only to find Mick had changed the station to Talk Sport. I hate listening to sport! I want music. I'm sitting there drinking tea, smoking a roll-up and generally feeling sorry for myself. Then the DJ announces a contest on the radio. "Text from your phone to this number to win a million." It immediately catches my attention.

Did I mention I hate my job ...lol... I have this mental image of an early retirement looming at the forefront of my mind. I just have to send a text ... It's a SIGN! So, in desperation I pull out my mobile phone and sent a text. What have I got to lose? I finish my tea and get back to work.

In the afternoon I'm packing away my tools eager to go home. Mick is pottering around clearing up. My phone starts to ring. I didn't recognise the number. A voice says, "Congratulations! You've made it through to the semi's to win the million pound." My heart is beating like a drum! I can't believe it. It's me after all, stuff don't happen like this to me, I'm cursed remember! ...lol... Then came the words that I should of expected. "You know what you have to do, don't you?" Now my heart is beating even more.

I say, "Do? I have to do something?"

He then began to explain that if my number is chosen by the DJ, they will call me back and I'll have to go live on air and talk about a given subject for a minute. They will pull a random subject out of a hat while on air.

My reaction, "Man!" ...pause... "It's gonna be a question on sport, isn't it?" ...lol... Yeah, a bit of an obvious question I know as it's Talk Sport Radio. I know absolutely NOTHING about sport. He stuttered a bit and said it could be about anything. He wasn't fooling me! ...lol...

Stunned, I get in the van, staring at my phone. Mick jumps in the passenger seat rubbing his hands. "Lets go, mate!" He was giving me a funny look. I must of turned white or something. I said we can't go, and explained I might be getting a call from the radio station at any minute. I remember the look on his face. "What have you done now? Man! I leave you alone for...five...minutes!" ...lol... Those were his very words. I still don't have a clue to this day what he means! :D

Then my phone rang!

Me and Mick stare at each other. Mick is a BIG sports fan, he used to be a footballer for our towns football club. I'm panicking, "Mick, you gotta help me, man!" He started laughing. Fair comment. I answer the phone and I'm told I've been chosen to go on air, and the next voice I hear will be the DJ. I'm crapping myself.

Then I was on. "Hi, Kurt, you're live on Talk Sport Radio."

I chose to go second against some other bloke. They pulled a question out the hat about someone from the English cricket team. They give him one minute to talk about this cricketer, and there wasn't anything he didn't know about him...lol...Then came my turn. Another English cricketer. I look at Mick with total fear in my eyes. He's sitting in the van listening to the radio. He shugs. "I don't know s**t about cricket!" I'm on my own, and I know less than Mick does...lol...It's too late to back out now, I'm live on air.

Then I started talking. hahaha! It's all a bit of a blur now. I started waffling on about being at a BBQ with this bloke and his wife at the weekend, and all kinds of stuff. It's amazing how long a minute can be! I just went for it. The DJ's were laughing. I remember seeing Mick in the van literally crying with laughter, clutching his stomach. In case you haven't already guessed, I didn't win a million pound. But I did get my fifteen minutes of fame.

Once I had finished humiliating myself, I found out I had won £100 (about $200) just for going on air, and I also won a years supply of this health drink. I was expecting a voucher to come through the post, but no. A van turned up outside my house a month or so later and delivered about ten crates of this stuff. I managed to sell it on to the local store for another £80.

Is there a moral to this story? Well, I suppose I could make one up...Always be fully aware of a situation before you enter it! Yeah, that works :-)

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